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| Bwahahaha. The MAN hasn't blocked Xanga at work, and I'm doing everything I can to stay awake barring using heavy machinery that might end disastrously.
Samantha Matthews: 5 times per Spiderman 1 & 2, or collectively? You're welcome for Owl City. You can thank my friend Katie Thompson from Illinois if you like. I owe her for Owl City.
The most I ever saw anything in theaters was Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. 3 Times. But in different places (including Nashville).
I've eaten 4 suckers tonight. Tangerine, Banana, Watermelon, and something else, I don't remember. I'm excessively tired. I ran through all my paperwork. I don't have the mental capacity for much except random rambling and simplistic observations of what has been going on. I ate 2 burritos as well.
Haha. Michael Buble's version of Try A Little Tenderness came on. This weekend, Davey told me he wants to sing Try A Little Tenderness at Joe and Linda's wedding. Linda = my aunt. He wants to sing Otis Redding, though, not Buble. There are accents on the e's in his name.
Wedding season is over, I believe. Excellent. On the horizon: making a cake for co-worker Lisa's b-day. Gonna be an american flag. And if you tell me to make the blueberries for the stars, I'll tell you what I told everyone else: The STARS AREN'T BLUE! The blueberries can be the background to the stars.
Lisa O'Dell is staying over for a night on her way back to Illinois! She's moving back! I get to see Rock at some point, as well as meet his sister, my heroine, and the only Powell i own, Mindi. Patches has Shaina, even if she's mostly Mindi's. And we all share Rock.
Whatcha doin with a suitca-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-se? Tryin to hit the ground with both feet runnin. Aren't you trippin on your shoela-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ce? Stealin away on a sunny day.
I think Sarah J and her friend are comin from Nashvegas at the end of July.
I wanna go to lots of concerts. I don't have lots of money, or time, and all my favorite artists hate me and only come through where I'm near on weekdays.
I "fell off track" with God months ago, and it's been an interesting trip back. I almost gave it all up. Which felt ok. And since then have found more freedom, made more mistakes, been more honest, and experienced more forgiveness and redemption than ever before. I haven't been to church in months. I don't wanna go back to the methodist one because a) it was ok, but not great. and b) when I gave up on God i dropped the video project I was working on for them, and c) I never heard from them when I just abruptly stopped going after going weekly. Maybe they figure I moved. But i never heard another word from them. That reminds me. I lied to the baptists when they came to my door. Everything I told them was true, except I said I was going to church.
I found out I can only drink fruity alcoholic beverages. Hard lemonade and some smirnoff ices and sex on the beach are the only things i've even remotely liked so far. still never been drunk, and am happy with that. i don't really like alcohol, but the aforementioned things taste good.
built a patio with my family. that was a lot of fun. It was cool to see it come together.
I'm proud of my brother matt, b/c when i see him with grace (my niece) it's just awesome seeing how he loves and cares for her. It's fantastic. And she's very cute. I'm glad she fell asleep in my arms instead of crying forever.
oh, right. praying more is on my list, which i'm doing, but it doesn't sound at all like it used to. it certainly doesn't follow the ACTS model and sounds way more like me talkin with a friend, which rocks. i wanna find a good church, but i have no clue where to start with that in a place like this. I'm biased, i don't like it here very much, and i've done a good job convincing myself that i'll only find boring, terribly conservative churches that treat the word "contemporary" as a sin. Maybe that's not true, but I don't want to wander into every church in Piedmont. I might be here longer than initially thought, but that doesn't mean I wanna just go through every building seeing what they have to offer.
rambly blogging is more fun than regular blogging, or angsty blogging, or deep theological blogging.
I realized tonight that I have this random song all about smoking pot. I didn't know that. It's called I've Got 5 On It. I don't even know what that means. it came off this british pop music sampler (not british music, necessarily, but music popular in england).
I'm almost done with bass career mode on Guitar Hero: World Tour, played mostly on Hard (unless I couldn't beat the song, then on Medium).
I was in Joplin today. There is a magic the gathering game for the XBOX 360. I played it with Patches. It was fun. I won't buy an xbox still, but i wish i had one so patches and i could play it. I like cities that go up rather than out.
I get about a million ideas a day for random stuff, but i never write them down, so often nothing comes from them. Like movie ideas. Really random stuff. I think at this point I just wanna capture random, semi-pointless stuff on video.
Davey and I have similar senses of humor sometimes. It was a lot of fun joking around with him this weekend. Even when he and i made the same joke a few seconds apart (him first), but I totally thought he was making a different joke, so I went on to make the same joke he had just made.
Music stuff:
+ I just found out tonight that Darkness Darkness by Richard Shindell is really a cover of the song by the Youngbloods.
+ I've been reminiscing in a lot of old music, and have been tempted to get the old Alkaline Trio songs I used to love, but the songs just don't carry the same weight with me anymore.
+ I know a lot of you listen to Anberlin, but really, all of you should. I could recommend a list a mile long, and even though their cover of Baby Please Come Home is not as good as Death Cab's, and I'm not a huge fan of their cover of Like A Rolling Stone, most of what you'll hear is gold. Solid gold.
+ I'm pretty sure Ben Gibbard's brain is made entirely of music. And Samantha and I decided he and Zooey Deschanel need to produce scores of musically brilliant children. The world needs their offspring.
+ I do not like the Apologetix, and every time one of the two songs I have comes on, I cringe. Especially Boulevard of Both Extremes. I don't know why I still have it.
+ I've missed Red Sweater by the Aquabats, and I'm glad it found its way back home into my collection.
+ For some reason, I figured for a long time I wouldn't like or even be interested in Ben Folds without the "Five", but I like his stuff. I think it annoyed me because so many girls I knew seemed to be pretty obsessed, and anytime a large group of people that share a similar trait like something, i get skeptical.
+ Soundtrack Songs have become a larger part of my library recently.
+ Random bands/songs that are relatively new to me (with a favorite song in parentheses): Paramore, Katie Gray, Cartel (A Minstrel's Prayer), The Decemberists (16 Military Wives), Del Amitri (Tell Her This), The Eels (I'm Going To Stop Pretending I Didn't Break Your Heart), Fountains Of Wayne (Fire In The Canyon). More to come later. Tired now. 2.5 hours left of work.
Back to relevant magazine with Zooey on the cover :)
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| "More sports for everyone, group spirit, fun, and you don't have to think, eh? Organize and organize and superorganize super-super sports. More cartoons in books. More pictures. The mind drinks less and less. Impatience. Highways full of crowds going somewhere, somewhere, somewhere, nowhere. The gasoline refugee. Towns turn into motels, people in nomadic surges from place to place, following the moon tides, living tonight in the room where you slept this noon and I the night before.
Now let's take up the minorities in our civilization, shall we? Bigger the population, the more minorities. Don't step on the toes of the dog lovers, the cat lovers, doctors, lawyers, merchants, chiefs, Mormons, Baptists, Unitarians, second-generation Chinese, Swedes, Italians, Germans, Texans, Brooklynites, Irishmen, people from Oregon or Mexico. The people in this book, this play, this TV serial are not meant to represent any actual painters, cartographers, mechanics anywhere. The bigger your market, Montag, the less you handle controversy, remember that! All the minor minor minorities with their navels to be kept clean. Authors, full of evil thoughts, lock up your typewriters. They did. Magazines became a nice blend of vanilla tapioca. Books, so the damned snobbish critics said, were dishwater. No wonder books stopped selling, the critics said. But the public, knowing what it wanted, spinning happily, let the comic books survive. And the three-dimensional sex magazines, of course. There you have it, Montag. It didn't come from the Government down. There was no dictum, no declaration, no censorship, to start with, no! Technology, mass exploitation, and minority pressure carried the trick, thank God. Today, thanks to them, you can stay happy all the time, you are allowed to read comics, the good old confessions, or trade journals."
Ray Bradbury. | | |
| So, here's a rant a long time in the making...
I'm sick of being seen the way I am. I refuse to be treated like this any longer. I will no longer be seen as naive, foolish, etc... For years now I've been the weak one. That's over now. I've learned that this world doesn't have as much room for nice guys as it would seem. Or I've never learned to be nice and have a backbone. Well, I'm getting one. I won't be walked upon anymore. If you talk down to me, expect a big response. If you treat me like a child, I'll show you how big I am. If you get pissed at me for something, or treat me poorly, you can expect a fight. I've taken a lot of things lying down for years. You can't expect that from me anymore. Think about our relationship. Do you see me as equal? Do you see me as somebody you respect? Well you better. If you don't, there'll be wrath. I'm not gonna be anybody's bitch. Don't get me wrong, I like to do things for people. I like to make people happy. But I will NEVER be walked upon again. The truth is, I no longer need people like you in my life if you're going to be superior. If I don't like how it is, you're gonna hear about it. I'm not weak, even if it seemed like it.
And I won't stand for anymore bullshit or lies. If you're not straight with me, we're done. So don't fake it with me. Don't act like we're closer than we are. Don't say you're gonna do something you won't do. Don't play up to me.
I'm leveling the playing field. I know I've done some things I shouldn't have. I've made promises and not kept them. I've started ideas and not followed through. I've been the bad friend/brother/son. But that's done. If it's not gonna happen, I'll tell you. This is how it's gonna be from now on. I have had more than enough of the crap people give in this world, and I've given enough of it, probably.
This applies to everything. Job. Friends. Family. I'm not gonna be the quiet one, the weak one, the boring one. I'm coming up. Here's to change...
Sidenote: I'm quite content with being free. I can breathe so much better. Who knew? If this statement makes no sense to you, more coming soon. | | |
| According to Samuel 23, these were David's last words:
"David, the son of Jesse, speaks --
David, the man to whom God gave such wonderful success,
David, the man anointed by the God of Jacob,
David, the sweet psalmist of Israel.
The Spirit of the Lord speaks through me;
his words are upon my tongue.
The God of Israel spoke.
The Rock of Israel said to me:
The person who rules righteously,
who rules in the fear of God,
he is like the light of morning,
like the sunrise bursting forth in a cloudless sky,
like the refreshing rains that bring tender grass from the earth.
It is my family God has chosen!
Yes, he has made an everlasting covenant with me.
His agreement is eternal, final, sealed.
He will constantly look after my safety and success.
But the godless are like thorns to be thrown away,
for they tear the hand that touches them.
One must be armed to chop them down,
they will be utterly consumed with fire."
I can't seem to wrap my mind around these words.
The first paragraph, with all its descriptions of David, is beyond me. While he merely describes himself as a son, a leader anointed by God, with all he has done owed to God, and a writer, I don't think I would ever think to talk of myself that way, regardless of position. So what makes him say these things? I mean, I could say "Jacob, son of Ronald -- the one to whom God has given some successes, the one who seldom knows God's calling for his life, the mediocre geologist/filmmaker/friend". I don't know if it's a lack of confidence, or a lack of vision of what has actually happened in my life, but clearly David had some kind of perspective I don't have. My resume here does not sound as impressive.
The second paragraph is one with which I am a bit more comfortable. While I don't often know for sure when it's God talking, I know there are times I've distinctly heard from him and times he's spoken through me. So we're ok here.
The third paragraph, I could see this one in a few different lights. It could be a description of how David ruled to be used as another piece of his resume, kind of a summary for his memoirs maybe. If that's the case, I definitely don't have that opinion of the things I do in life. It could be a reminder to himself of what a king ought to be. Or it could be a message to future generations of rulers, passing down wisdom he gained during his tenure as king. If those are the case, I appreciate it. Sometimes we have to take stock of what we have done to learn a lesson from it. Other times it's important to tell people what we have learned. We should pass on the crucial lessons. And then I can learn from my predecessors, gaining wisdom from their experience. This way the generations after us can move forward.
The final paragraph is tough. The first half sounds good. As my last words, a comforting message of God's promise to me, to my family would be reassuring. It's like knowing you're about to die, leaving behind a family, and ensuring them and yourself that your life insurance is in good order. It is much more comfortable to leave something (a job, this world) knowing that the things you have invested in will survive and flourish long after you're gone. So God's promise in this sense is his insurance policy.
Then the last part: Is it a warning? Or is it a sign of how much David despised the godless? Obviously, I'd prefer to think it's the former. Either way, it sounds final. Maybe it's just this crazy New-Testament-Grace world I live in, but for some reason that passage just sounds wrong. I suppose the other option is that I don't feel the same as David. Has my hand been torn so many times I don't notice? Am I comfortable with the fire? Am I unwilling to chop down? Are we supposed to? That sounds so vicious.
So when it comes down to it, I am not a man like David. I don't understand him. I think if I met David today, we might not get along. He seems to be the opposite of me. Confident, self-assured, ferocious. I tend to consider myself more quiet, lacking assurance and confidence. But even if I had them, I might still not understand David.
Maybe I understand more than I knew.
Feel free to share thoughts... | | |
| That line has been in my head all night.
In other news, here's an awesome interview with Reese Roper, courtesy of a guy from Chicago and Relevant Magazine!
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/pc_article.php?id=7690
Here's another good article, especially if you care where hip-hop is going... Interesting.
http://relevantmagazine.com/releblog/music/why-hip-hop-died/
And check this out! http://www.takeastandrecords.com/index.php?artistID=5 Read the About section.
Ok, that's all for now.
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